The latest from Capt Mike

On my last flight,the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells us at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises us to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, “What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob.” All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up.

I yelled out “Don’t forget the coffee!”